God is good, amen?

I can't believe the season of Lent is upon us already.  Last year, I added Praying in Color to my daily routine during Lent, a habit which I hoped would stick, but alas, I am human and do not always follow through with my good intentions.  At the beginning of this year, while on a trip up to the beautiful Upper Peninsula, I decided that I wanted to take note of the small blessings that I saw each day of the year.  I didn't do a whole lot with that until last week.  Earlier in the month, I thought I would do better with remembering my commitments if I wrote them in a calendar rather than the calendar on my phone.  So, I broke out my National Geographics from years past, my ever-useful jar of Mod Podge, and decorated the cover of a pocket notebook I bought in Paris when I was 13.  I sectioned off each page and wrote the date in each box and after making each mark so precisely and arranged the pictures and words on the cover just-so, I smiled with pride at my small accomplishment.  I set it down on our living room coffee table and there it stayed.  For 4 weeks.  So much for using it to stay organized.  Last week though, I was talking with a wonderful friend from camp and she told me about her gratitude journal.  She writes down the ways God blesses her each day in small ways and I burst out "That's exactly what I wanted to do!"  She encouraged me to do so and the next morning, she sent me a text that read "Keep an eye out for God's many small blessings :)" I took up that notebook I had decorated and marked off every day of this year, and started a gratitude journal.

Among other things I have found to be blessings, one is the way that prayer and support keeps coming in to send me back to France.  I am just shy of $1,800 away from having the outgoing expenses covered and have about 17% of the monthly support pledged.  Oh how good God is to me, even when I don't see it at the time.

I have a minor obsession with Pinterest (if you haven't caught on, typically when I use "minor" to describe an interest or a hobby, it means significant) and due to the addicting fun that can come from that, I have allowed myself one hour each day to go on.  I know, I know, "Abby, one hour is a long time to be on a website!"  But when you think of it, if you spend 15 minutes on it eight or nine times a day-as most people do-that is about two hours that you have spent in front of a computer and you weren't even connecting with people.  I'm not hating on any one who does this, just to be clear, because great enjoyment and creativity can emerge from finding the fun things on Pinterest.  I will leave you with this gem of word beauty that I found the other day:

"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." Ecclesiastes 7:14

I have found that it is neither the good nor the bad times that are difficult, but rather the in between times.  I have moments of sadness and anger, but they pass quickly.  I have times of great joy and laughter and those memories carry me far.  But it is the days that bring neither joy nor sorrow that are hardest.  Living between moments is difficult not because I like drama but because I am just waiting.  You know that feeling.  The feeling of something huge is just around the corner but you can't see around the bend. 

Being at home has been lovely, filled with books, cleaning, and the various appointments that I haven't had the time for over the past years (you know, the dentist, physical therapy for my injured knee, etc.)  I have been babysitting and cleaning houses (two of my favorite things) for donation for France, and in that I have been doubly blessed.  Not only have families been generous in supporting me, but I also get to learn from kids. 

Kids are crazy.  They are energetic, creative, easily show their emotion, and forgive quickly.  I was watching three wonderful kids last week.  These kids are 4, 6, and 8 and I've known them for years.  The oldest smiles and waves at everyone at church and loves to talk.  The middle is the only boy in the family, and he plays the part very well.  He is all about building racetracks, throwing snowballs, and punching.  Totally a 6 year old boy.  The youngest is sweet and tries very hard to be like her older siblings.  She'll play with Polly Pockets with her sister, chase after her brother, and just loves being with them.  They don't care how crazy they act, they think their hilarious when we eat a snack in a fort underneath the table, and they love just being.  How hard is it for adults to just be?  I'm living in a limbo right now, finished with school, unable to find a job because no one wants to hire someone for 3 months, and waiting to go back to France, I try to fill my day with as many things as possible.  I can't just be and enjoy the stillness of this time in my life.  I am always trying to keep moving and stay active (a little hard to do with a bum knee) but what I am continuously learning from these beautiful kids every time I hang out with them is to do what they do:  enjoy the stillness of living, love every moment, and forgive quickly.

An update on finances:
Currently, I am at about 54% of needed funds for outgoing expenses: $3,874.37.  Thanks to the loving and open support of friends and family, about 10% of the monthly support has been raised.